Intimidation ...

Intimidation is the last vestige of those who have stopped believing in themselves and the ability of others to dialogue.
It means that " I can't engage you, therefore I will control you ". For everyone who might engage me in this way
it engenders despair. But this sense of despair only lasts for so long. God begins slowly ( my timing, not his ) to show me
what, who, and where the true importance lies in life events. I need to celebrate and embrace what I have been given. The "given" are our family , the core of loving people in our lives, and the beauty of God's words spoken through his creation that surrounds me . They are the ones who love us, even though they know us . Finally, in the midst of my worst despair in life about dealing with certain kinds of people, I have learned that we must never allow people who don't know and care about who we are to influence how we should deal with those who do...

Assuming The Best...

In the process of working as an educator and counsellor, it is ultimately important to assume the best about people you deal with. If they blew it in a given circumstance or fell short by some artificial human standard, I need to assume the best about the motivation of that person. If I don't, I will never understand who they are when the dialogue begins. The last time I checked, we all believe that our motivation for what we have done is mostly appropriate, regardless of the judgment of others. Do I blow it in that regard ? Oh yeah, big time. But, I keep coming back to the fact that I must assume the best.
Why ? When the God that made you and I showed up as Jesus 2000 years ago, he always assumed the best about people.
His closest followers saw him dealing with people who had just blown it or had lives that were just "wrong". But because of His regard for those people, they felt understood: perhaps for the first time in their lives. I often find that there are colleagues as likely to forget this important perspective as the clients I work with.
Somewhere, at some point earlier in life, someone accepted me, regardless of my foolishness and it molded my acceptance of others. It is one of the few human gifts we can pass on regardless of DNA. I am thankful that in a formative, mistake-prone phase of my life someone assumed the best about me...

The Shifting Sands of Family Life

At given moments my teenage children will push me because they ( much like myself at the same age ) have picked up a sizable chunk of the worlds information or experience about something which they assume is new to everyone. It is an endless dance that is taking place in families all over the world. People on the cusp of adulthood trying to put together pieces of real life so that they can find out who they are. I believe God smiles when he sees the dance over and over again. In my quieter moments I can see that it has to happen. What a strange privilege to have your own DNA challenge you about something you already know . Yes, we piss each other off with some regularity...and I can only blame the Irish bloodlines for so much. Ultimately, I can see that I am blessed to have my offspring teach me something about life. They are showing me a new way to experience the same adolescent moments in life that I was sure that I had already figured out...