The Adult Friend No More...
I know about a 6 year old who waves to his mother, heads down the street out of sight around the corner and visits an older gentleman at his house. His mother knows who the man is, but has never had a conversation with him. The little boy visits this unknown man about 2 or 3 times a week. Why ? Is there a dark secret here ? Irresponsible parenting ? No. The little boy and the old man visit because they are friends. The little boy admires the older man. The older man lives alone and loves the company and questions of the six year old. Oh yes, one important detail. It is July, 1962. Those of you who are over 40 years of age understand what I'm talking about, because it was you. It was a time that is gone and will never return. A small child building a relationship with an adult . No interference from parents. No 24/7 surveillance by adult family or
" trained supervisors " who interfere with almost every conflict between children because of what " might happen".
It was a time of children building their own system of rules, games, and relationships. But wait, you say, there was tremendous cruelty amongst children. Our society needed to add the guidance of parents or other adult educators for children all of the time so that they could be instructed about better relationships along the way... Yeah right, and the trust, confidence, and level of conflict amongst children of all ages has improved so much. What have we stolen from our children ? The social contract we had is gone. We have so much to account for...
I know about a 6 year old who waves to his mother, heads down the street out of sight around the corner and visits an older gentleman at his house. His mother knows who the man is, but has never had a conversation with him. The little boy visits this unknown man about 2 or 3 times a week. Why ? Is there a dark secret here ? Irresponsible parenting ? No. The little boy and the old man visit because they are friends. The little boy admires the older man. The older man lives alone and loves the company and questions of the six year old. Oh yes, one important detail. It is July, 1962. Those of you who are over 40 years of age understand what I'm talking about, because it was you. It was a time that is gone and will never return. A small child building a relationship with an adult . No interference from parents. No 24/7 surveillance by adult family or
" trained supervisors " who interfere with almost every conflict between children because of what " might happen".
It was a time of children building their own system of rules, games, and relationships. But wait, you say, there was tremendous cruelty amongst children. Our society needed to add the guidance of parents or other adult educators for children all of the time so that they could be instructed about better relationships along the way... Yeah right, and the trust, confidence, and level of conflict amongst children of all ages has improved so much. What have we stolen from our children ? The social contract we had is gone. We have so much to account for...
posted by mark at 10:57 PM
3 Comments:
I hate to say it to you, a teacher, but it is teachers who have done the most damage to my own children. I am thankful for the influence of the few who have chosen to make a positive impact in their lives. I pray that the positive wieghs in more heavily than the negative.
I have to apologize Mark, that sure didn't come out the way that I intended it to. I am thankful for the positive influence that you and Jean have been in the lives of children, not only my own.
Thanks Sue,
All of our children are going through stuff even as we speak, but in the end when they are fully realized adults they will have so much more to offer than they do now because of the investment of the awesome parenting that has taken place. You are a compassionate, intelligent woman of vision. Dennis is a steady, perceptive man with a good heart. Those kids are blessed to have you guys...
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